Spinning

Andrew McMahon, of Jack's Mannequin, was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2005 and eventually made a full recovery thanks to a stem cell transplant he received from his sister. While in the hospital for several months, he recorded a documentary entitled "Dear Jack". The documentary is extremely powerful and i recommend it for all to see. After his illness, Jack's Mannequin released the album "The Glass Passenger" and many of the songs featured capture the emotions and struggles he faced during his battle with Leukemia. This album was first introduced to me by my brother and I am extremely thankful he brought it to my attention. While the entire album is great music in general, the lyrics have gotten me through some very difficult days, especially at the beginning of things when I really didn't have a grasp on the new direction my life was taking. The song that I quickly identified with when things first started off was one called "Spinning"...here is a small part of the chorus:

I keep forgetting when the earth turned slowly
So I just waited til the lights come on again
I lost my place but I can't stop this story
I've found my way, but until then
I'm only spinning

This described my life perfectly at the time. Everything was going so fast around me and I could hardly keep up with all of it. Actually, I wasn't even keeping up at all. Everything was moving and life was continuing faster than I'd ever seen, but I was not moving at all. I wasn't in school, I couldn't work, my only job was to focus on getting better. Everyday was the same, I spent the days alone in my new home in Jersey where I didn't know anyone. I did a lot of thinking those days and had no idea what life held in store for me. It was a scary time and I could have easily given up and lost sight of my reasons to continue on and accept whatever challenges my battle would present. I almost did lose it...but that's not who I am. Things go wrong and sometimes it seems like you're up against the world on your own. It's standing against that last domino in the line not knowing if you have the strength to keep it standing when the weight of the others come crashing...it may seem like there is nothing you can do, but just hold on because you're stronger than you think. At the end of the day, it was very simple...I was sick and with the help of a little faith and the love of those around me, I'd regain my footing and catch up with the world.