12/6/2010

Alrighty it's been way too long since I updated this...

When I left off I was pretty nervous about getting the scan results because it seemed like there wasn't really any action going on in this ordeal lately so I figured some bad news was on the horizon. Turns out I was sort of right, but also sort of wrong. The scan results were very vague and the interpretation by the radiologist didn't specify whether things were getting better or worse, she simply said that things in my liver "looked different"......Looked different? What the hell does that mean? This isn't exactly looking at a piece of art and any interpretation you come up with is alright. This is my life we're talking about here. So that wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for, but one thing was for certain, nothing had definitively improved. My doctor seems worried that my current treatment has gone as far as it can and the disease is starting to adapt to it and will eventually be immune to the drugs. That's the bad news. The good news is that there are other treatment options that she has been saving for a rainy day and are supposedly pretty effective. I haven't been put on the new stuff yet, but I'm pretty certain that move will be coming fairly soon...hopefully after exams so I don't have to worry about feeling terrible while taking them. The new ones are called irinotekan and avastin. The side effects don't sound too terrible I guess, but the thinning of the hair may result in having to shave my head again (luckily it appears I was only dropped once or twice as a child since I only have a few dents in my head). Oh well, it's just hair, I was going to lose it eventually (for those of you who have met my dad you will understand)....so it's not the end of the world. Eventually I'll be able to just take a pill and it will grow back just as I hope there will be a pill I can take to make me better.

I also started having some headaches shortly after Thanksgiving and had migraine headaches for two days in a row which I haven't had since I was about 13. I decided to let the doctors know because they always yell at me when I try to be a hero and not call them when something from the long list they gave me is acting up. I can't help it, I'm stubborn and don't really consider things to be noteworthy unless I'm really feeling terrible. So just as a precaution they scanned my head and it turns out that little hamster running on his wheel up there is still doing his job. So that was definitely a relief. Here I am just doing the same old routine and doing the treatment every other week until the doctor decides to change things up.

One other thing though that has been bothering me...

That whole "change your facebook profile picture to a cartoon to support children who are abused"...apparently it turns out the whole thing was a scam created by pedophiles because it would entice children to accept their friend requests due to the inviting nature of the cartoon picture. The whole thing is sick, but the thing that really upset me about everything was that people felt better about themselves for "doing their part." What did they do? Did they volunteer at an after school program for kids who didn't want to go home to abusive parents? Did they donate any sort of time or effort to organizations dedicated to actually helping those innocent kids who can't speak out against abuse? NO. No one did that. They simply copy and pasted a picture to their facebook account and hopefully it helped them sleep better at night for "doing their part". I'm not saying everyone needs to go out and try to save the world. We all have our own battles and sometimes do not have the means to help others. All I'm trying to say is if you do have a cause that you believe in, fight for it. Make a difference through your actions. There are wonderful organizations out there that share the same beliefs as you...the most selfless and genuine act someone can perform is to become a volunteer who expects nothing in return, but is not afraid to donate whatever they can, whether it be time, money, or enthusiasm, to truly make a difference.