So here we are...the holidays are upon us and it's absolutely freezing out. I just want to thank everyone for their support lately because it has been very overwhelming to know that my journey has in some way affected them. It's pretty crazy. I never set out to accomplish anything great at the beginning of all of this, my only goal was to just share my story and keep people updated with how I was doing. I guess that's just how I am. The New Haven Register hit the nail right on the head...I enjoy putting others before me. I understand that my situation is very serious and I need to focus on getting better, but I can't help but think of everyone else throughout all of this. When I think of the day I was diagnosed, while I remember every detail of that day, the thing that stands out the most was that I didn't dwell on what had just occurred in the doctor's office, I looked ahead to the next steps. I worried about how to tell my friends and other family members, I honestly felt like I was ruining everyone's day by telling them. I begged my father to go back to New Jersey so my mother didn't have to be alone. When it comes down to it, I'll take care of myself when the situation calls for it, but I want everyone else to be ok as well. It sounds silly, but it's just my nature.
My last treatment sucked. I didn't eat for about three days and I left my bed probably twice. It's strange because sometimes it hits me hard and sometimes I'm feeling pretty well. Just need to roll with the punches I guess. I have a scanned scheduled for the first week of January, but all the indicators are pointing towards a new treatment. Based on some levels in my blood, the doctor believes these current drugs have run their course and are starting to become ineffective. While that sounds terrible, it's actually not as bad as it seems. My doctor expected this to happen much sooner, and we have gotten more than we could have hoped for out of this form of treatment. The new stuff will be about an hour long infusion and I won't have to wear the pump for two days following, which is good news because I couldn't sleep on my stomach with that thing hooked up. Bad news is it sounds like the side effects are going to be pretty rough. Even more nausea, fatigue, and probably hair loss. I mean my hair is falling out either way (for those of you who know my dad you'd understand), but I'm pretty nervous because I don't want it all to fall out. I have a decently shaped head and could always shave it, but I don't want to lose everything...truth be told it's very satisfying when people tell me I look like a normal kid with nothing wrong with me. But that's just me being selfish...hair is hair...I'm still the same person no matter what and I'm still here to complain about it. So we'll see what happens. I'm very excited for the bowling event that is coming up on the 8th...we have over 70 people signed up and it will be a great time. Well this is all for tonight, I'm driving down to Charlotte tomorrow and can't wait to see all of my friends there. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost two years since I've left, but we all still keep in touch and I cannot thank them enough for being there for me. That's all for this week...have a safe and happy new year and I'll probably post something twice next week because I really want to talk about some of the music that has influenced me throughout this whole thing as well as my scan results.
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